My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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