the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
