it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
