I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I can't put those talents on a resume
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
