hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
