So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
