Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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