no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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