sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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