That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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