I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
