Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
someone owes me an orgasm
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
