Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
