Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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