If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
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his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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