R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
no, he came in my armpit
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
