I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
