Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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