there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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