Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
