All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Everyone says I win the strip club
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
