Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(719): View more from Colorado

then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.

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(802): View more from Vermont

Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.

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(650): View more from California

Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.

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(618): View more from Illinois

Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am

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(940): View more from Texas

He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.

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(707): View more from California

Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.

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