There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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