Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
