Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
