Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
