Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize