I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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