We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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