He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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