ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
youre lurking in front of me
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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