eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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