If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
