I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
