Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Text me some of your sweat
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
