I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
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