we're chasing vodka with high fives
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
