two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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