I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this will be a night to untag.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize