all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
