the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
