I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
