seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
