yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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