they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
