i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
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And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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