Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
