just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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