East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
