What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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