Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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