This is not my ceiling
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
