using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
