I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Liz is crying about burritos again.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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