I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize