I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
