you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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