I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
