Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
